Have you ever been asked about your WHY, only to think…’I have no earthly clue.’⠀
⠀
It took me years to recognize the underlying push that’s driven me. And this is NOT one I am sharing because I’m proud, but it needs to be said.⠀
⠀
Proceed with caution, train-wreck level honesty about to be revealed here: ⠀
⠀
All my life, I’ve never really felt good enough at baseline (who I am without ‘trying’); and without accomplishments and top tier execution I wasn’t worthy of love. ⠀
⠀
Run out of reasons to be recognized, run out of love.⠀
⠀
I warned you, and now you probably can’t look away.⠀
⠀
Pretty backwards WHY, right?⠀
⠀
It became my identity to self-deprecatingly under-promise (after all at my core I was just a frumpy mom, mediocre wife, basic cook, average intelligence) and pray I could over-deliver, fooling everyone around me until oh, say…I was dead.⠀
⠀
That was my winning formula for love. And it sure was driving me. But I cringe at how it was depleting me.⠀
⠀
The cost of creating this ‘2.0’ version of myself was my intuition. ⠀
⠀
I KNOW how all that reads. And sadly, I would venture a guess that what I just threw down resonates with a surprisingly high number of women.⠀
⠀
Looking back at everything I’ve shared in this space, I never touched on this. Maybe because I felt like it was irrelevant or distracting to most of the ‘rah-rah’ posts I was unknowingly establishing as my ‘identity’ here.⠀
⠀
Treacherous behavior in hindsight, as I’ve worked so hard to separate myself from that.⠀
⠀
If your actions are driven by vanity metrics, I ask…are you pursing them because you love yourself? If yes, to that I emphatically reply ‘Carry On!!’⠀
⠀
Or…are you chasing something you believe to be a conduit for love?⠀
⠀
If your WHY has anything to do with how you are perceived by the people in your orbit, I urge you to look further inward.⠀
⠀
Who you are is exactly who the world needs you to be. ⠀
⠀
How your life feels is more important than how it looks.⠀
⠀
Learn the difference between your intuition guiding you and your trauma misleading you.⠀
⠀
And if you’re like me, maybe your current situation is giving you an opportunity to reevaluate what you want.
What do you want?👇
Comments