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Writer's pictureKatie Crokus

Turns out most of the demands, requirements, and timelines in my day were entirely....self-imposed

Dear Diary,⠀

One month ago I lived a frenzied life with not a moment to be wasted.⠀

One hour ago I found myself sitting down to look out the window and drink a cup of tea, without any sense of obligation to be anywhere other than in that moment.⠀

What’s more is, I did this outside of ‘designated rest time’ which for me, has never come during daylight hours.⠀

Habits of mind and lifestyle do not change easily. ⠀

Yet somehow, in the shortest (March simply vanished), and longest 4 (or is it 14?) weeks of my life, I have been radically transformed in some ways.⠀

Hi, I’m Katie, and I am a person who would...⠀

🌀Get irritated by lines forming around samples and blocking aisles at Costco. ⠀

🌀Fight the urge to pick up my phone at a red light. ⠀

🌀Wake up at 4:30 to ensure I had all the time I needed to fit in everything deemed a requirement for the day.⠀

Prior to now, I can’t even recall a time when I sat in true stillness without sleep as the end goal.⠀

I was basically a slave to the non-stop urgent demands of my outside world. Or so I thought...⠀

Having this time to think has shed light on something I should have realized a lot sooner; ⠀

I’ve become really good at setting boundaries and fiercely guarding my “yes’s”...so why was I always swamped?! ⠀


Currently as I am hearing more pretend play, new-made up games and the resurrection of toys we haven’t seen in years, I realize that my kids require less outside stimulation and fewer boundaries too.⠀

We are establishing new normals in the midst a catastrophic event; when we emerge, we’ll see some weaved into the fabric of our culture, probably forever.⠀

I hope they are the ones that bring us joy.⠀

Life will pick back up. We will once again associate ‘busy’ with ‘productive’ and ‘stillness’ with ‘boredom.’⠀

In this clarity, I know....⠀

I am grateful for this.⠀

I am enjoying this.⠀

I want to remember this.⠀

And when the inevitable unrest sets in again (maybe in 5 minutes), I want to remind myself how prolific it can be to reframe a frenzied life.⠀

What have you realized lately?

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